“i’m going to count to three and i’m going to move the coin.”
#the way Charles prepares himself in this scene shows exactly how much he loves Erik, because he can’t talk to him or try to dissuade him from what he’s about to do. he knows Erik’s going to do it and there’s no stopping him, but letting go of Shaw would mean he would die so Charles holds on and doesn’t let Shaw go and he suffers through that pain so that Erik can live and Erik can get his revenge and Erik can be free. Charles feels what it’s like to die for Erik because of Erik and he doesn’t hold it against him at all.
#All of this, so damn much. #This scene, this fucking scene. Charles chooses to experience the pain of being killed by having a coin shoved clean through his skull in slow motion so he can protect Erik, even as Erik does the one thing Charles has desperately pleaded with him not to, even as Erik is making all the wrong choices and only taking himself further away from the peace Charles wants so desperately for him and has tried so hard to help him achieve, and he holds no anger or resentment. He still just wants to protect Erik and care for him even now. It’s a stunning, overwhelming act of complete, all encompassing, unconditional love, and in spite of it, he ends up losing Erik ten minutes later. Why does this movie do these things to me?#I need there to be like, 80 more fics where Charles ends up severely hurt or mentally damaged because of this moment, and Erik sees that before he can try to kill the soldiers, and instead of making the worst mistake of his life, he instead just focuses all of his energy and attention on saving Charles, absolutely wrecked with guilt, and becomes almost obsessively protective of him afterwards and can’t bring himself to leave Charles’ side despite how drastically their opinions differ